Roller Coast

A roller coaster ride has two parts.

The initial slow point of going up and the fast paced part.

There is definitely some anticipation right before the first drop. Some people may even get a little nervous and have what they call butterflies in their stomachs.

Life also has two parts

The initial slow part of school and the fast paced part of working in the real world.

My life in college has been pretty slow and peaceful but I am reaching the pinnacle point of this roller coaster ride called life. I just have one more year and a quarter and I'll be in the real world. The fast paced world of work and real life worries. I am both excited and anxious for what ride of life has to offer.

This last year really determines where I will be in my life for the next 3 years. This freaking short period of time is the most crucial. The people I meet and how well I do in school is of most importance.

Tangent thoughts.. Life starts from an olive

If I can use one word to describe my summer it would be.... Busy.
The second word to describe it would be productive. =)

Schedule: Monday through Thursday I wake up at 11am and come back home around 10pm.
As much as I dread it I sort of really enjoy it, weird right?. I actually really like being busy. I feel like I have a sense of purpose and drive.
A good friend of mine had a quote up on his FB that just hit me, I think its from Jay Z, ugh anyways here it is
"Put Me Anywhere On God’s Green Earth, I’ll Triple My Worth."
As of now things are going pretty good. I'm doing well in school, chillin at work, getting credit for my internship, networking with professionals from the Big 4 and the accounting society is working out a lot better than I had expected. =)
In the midst of all this! I am still anxious about the future. =/

Realization:I've been realizing things little by little and foremost I've been realizing that I can come off as being very ignorant and extreme at times. I think there is always room for growth. I need too seek god for humility and wisdom.

Comfort: Being comfortable in a way can be detrimental, because it can cause us to become very callous to our shortcomings. It can also stop us from growing to our full potential.

Facial Skin: I have never had a problem with pimples and etc. But randomly I had an outbreak and it wasn't even that bad, but then I just kept doing the wrong things to it which made it worse. If I had known from the start that washing your face with bar soap and constantly popping and scratching your pimples would make your skin worse I would've stopped this travesty from ever happening! damn Trist! Good thing I went online one day to research this phenomenon. I am on the track to having normal healthy skin again. YAY!

Working Out: I'm so happy that everyone always wants to go to the gym. The gym is awesome! I have a few goals that I plan on reaching by the end of this summer. DO WORK!

Surfing: My first love..... ooo how I missed thee. I made a new surf buddy this summer. YES!

Olive: So my co worker just got pregnant and we've been keeping track of how much it grows and right now it's the size of an olive. Isn't the creation of life amazing? Two people come together telling each other something that sounds like "olive juice" and BAM! an olive sized thing with a heart beat comes into existence.

Update:
I made a new blog, deep thoughts

http://roberthchoi.blogspot.com/

I Don't Trust Myself

Happiness is..... contentment. I want so much out of life but I fail to realize that I can't have it all. What if life was meant to be the way it is? I can't figure out why I feel like shat one day and good the other. I need to be kept busy to keep my mind from thinking so much.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."Phil 4:6

I want to trust god fully but it's so hard at times. I mean He always does provide. There has to be a reason for everything I am going through.

I feel like I'm becoming more of an F, which is just like wtf but really I think I might be a softy hiding behind a strong exterior of confidence. But T's have feelings too right. I think I feel anxious because I'm a T. I never want to do something that I might regret.

"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained."

I even know the solutions to my own problems. Yet I still am scared of regret.

I think my problem is that I over think things. I can't stand it when I don't have control over situations. I feel so weak and I end up wanting to just forget about it. I always want a solution to a problem. The thing is what if there is no exact solution but only theories. I hate wasting life and time thinking about things that are not solid.

So I guess I just need to count my blessing and really realize that God will provide me with everything that I need. Being hasty is a waste of life.

No I'm not the man I used to be lately.

bliss

I really appreciate the little things in life.
Sitting on a warm metal bench while the cool ocean breeze hits my face. I just like chillin not really worrying about much and just resting. I really like the weather here in San Diego. The air is so fresh and so clean clean too. I love how I can see the stars at night. I love drinking Steaz after being thirsty. Feeling that moisture on the can then just chugging it down. I feel like I'm turning into an I but probably not. I just straight up chilled in my car by myself for like 10 minutes. What was I doing? Straight up just embracing the solitude of being in a parking garage. Not a lot of people stay in parking garages. It could be a good place to study or just chill. I miss the ocean once again and these really nice days are not helping. Music makes life better and it can really set the mood of your day. I love tangent thoughts. These are a few of my favorite things..... I wish I was good at singing. I miss taking pictures. I only slept 2 hours in the past 48 hours. I'm in a odd state of mind. It's pretty chill. I sort of like being tired all the time. It feels really nice when you just knock out after a long day. I hate staying up in bed.
blah~~~~~~~
Not a worthy blog post haha
These are a few of my favorite things.. Sound of music

Life

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Addiction

I am addicted to two things. My addiction causes me to have withdrawals. These two things are caffeine and salt water.

I have been drinking coffee for maybe about half a year. I drink it black. I love coffee. I never thought I would like black coffee but I love it.

I have been breathing underwater for about 6 years. I breath it in through my nose. I love surfing. After a good surf session I often have to use the restroom. While I'm doing my thang water just starts dripping out of my nose. I miss that.

Not having these two things causes me to get cranky.

Depression

I pretty much started a new life. I have a new Internship, a new small group, and a new sense of lonelyness. I'm busy and occupied. I hate it. I thought I would love it. This new sense of lonelyness is pretty gay. Driving to work is always beautiful. The sky in San Diego is just different. The clouds are almost on the same level as the land. I feel this depression because I feel that I have wronged somebody that I loved.

I have become my old self again. The guy I hated. The douche bag, self centered, arrogant bastard. I tried so hard for the last two years to change. I felt that I have changed. I realized my faults and short comings. Then BAM some stress and trials come and I'm discredited for everything I stood for. I fell hard. I just don't care that much right now.

I miss the old days of childhood. I see the kids playing at work everyday. They have so much fun just chasing each other. It's like their super high or drunk laughing and giggling. I wish I could be as happy as them.

Fragments

I wrote most of this in fragments. It's the most efficient way to write. Straight forward and straight to the point. No flowering of words to be pleasing to the ears. Shows my character and mood right now. Very efficient, blunt, and lazy. I catch myself not wanting to talk about how I really feel. It must be a defense mechanism because I hate to show feelings. I see it as a sign of weakness. I'm trying to become more sensitive. I realize that I can't be with a girl because of my insensitivity.

God is good. God is so sovereign and so perfect. I continue to fall into failures and sin yet his grace still covers all. I feel so worthless and undeserving of such love. Life is filled with trials and tribulations and these thing are just what makes life a growing and maturing process. I hope god molds me well and that Satan doesn't get a hold of my life.

FML

Halloween 09.
So my story begins on the day when costa garage had to get cleaned and they kicked the cars out. I parked on the street thinking yes! I didn't forget I was proud of myself. So I parked on the street. After I just left my car there and didn't move it. I had so many opportunities too it was almost like god was poking at me to move it. I let my roommate take my spot because he needed a place to park for the new few days. Then I had my second opportunity my roommate gave back the garage key but I decided whatever I'll just park in there later. Then I check today and I see my mirror on the ground and I go to open my door and its stuck. I pull it and it bends like the front park because someone crashed into it. I have to use the passenger side to get in now. DAMN hit and run! it was probably some drunk guy going home from a halloween party. I also have 2 midterms this week. I came to CSE to study but it became KCM gbm and I left my book at home.
Thus I end this post with FML!